Wow, for some reason being a navy wife automatically means you have to have kids or you're about to give birth. To be one of the rare individuals that doesn't have any kids or pets (they aren't fur babies it's an animal!) Doesn't want any kids, and isn't planning on having any kids. I find myself to be an anomaly. Sorry that I don't like cleaning up shit but there's something about the personal freedom of going on a road trip and not having to take anyone but my husband and myself without having to pay someone to take on my responsibility of watching my kid or god forbid taking them with me and balancing all the fun and joy of a trip on how they behave.....yeah I'm good with my marriage just being me and my husband for now. But for some odd reason no one else besides my husband and I is okay with that. For some odd reason I find myself constantly having to defend my decision for not wanting children right now and to me that's rather shocking since I'm only 23 years old and my husband and I have only been married for 3 years. How could we possibly raise a child when we are barely established in our own lives and in our own marriage? Don't get me wrong we have an incredibly close bond, but even now he's deployed. I don't want to have kids and for him to miss out on their childhood. The most important time in a child's life is their first 6 months. In that time a child's personality develops and from then on it's determined how that child reacts and behaves in every situation. That's basic child psychology. I couldn't possibly want to have baby and for my husband to not be apart of that incredibly important time. And how would he feel to have no bearing on the most important developmental time in his own child's life. Honestly the idea of it is pretty heart breaking. Hence one reason we wait. Another is our age. I'm 23 years old, so is my husband. And we like being 23. We like going out and experiencing the world. We love adventures and jumping in the car to just go places, I love being a college student and in essence he does love traveling the world as a sailor and having a child would only make all of the more difficult. You can't just jump in the car and go with a baby, they aren't too fond of kayaking trips, and zip-lining. Babies don't work well with school work and well deployment is kind of a no baby zone. So having a baby definitely doesn't fit our lifestyle and we're pretty happy with our lives and aren't looking for a change. Then there's the whole money thing, I don't know why people always say "it'll work out" when it comes to money and babies. Like I don't want to wish on a star for my child's college tuition. That stuff's kind of important to me. I'm gonna need to know that we have a stable home, stable income that wouldn't need excessive budgeting in order to have child and the ability to save for our child's future.
This clearly isn't how everyone handles the whole baby thing, but well my marriage is pretty perfect right now despite my husband being deployed. We have an amazing time with it just being the two of us and I don't know why that's constantly questioned by people. I mean maybe motherhood and child rearing is an important part of their life that helps define them but that's just not me right now. I love being an aunt to my 6 amazing nieces, I love being in college and studying to become a professor myself one day, I love being married to my husband but even in that he's not my identity. I don't know but I have the feeling that most people that have their kids a little too early in life lose a piece of themselves. Maybe it's a piece that they needed to lose but maybe not. I see a lot of people that introduce themselves solely as a mother, or a dad and it causes you to wonder what else defines them since they were not always parents. Does their depth go any further than the dirty diapers in their trash can? Are they holding on to regrets from having kids so early that they are now unable to accomplish the goals they'd originally had in life? I want a child, truly I do but I don't want a child until I'm ready. And that means that I do accomplish my life's goals first because I want them to see me as an example to get the most out of everything. To experience all they can because that will only make them a more well rounded person and a more understanding parent in the long run. Everyone experiences life differently and honestly I wouldn't be writing this blog right now if people could understand that for me I'm just content to go to art shows and concerts on the weekends. I'm okay with spending my day in a book studying and advancing my education the furthest I possibly can. Others don't have to be me, it's okay I'm not judging you. I'm just asking you not to look at my life and tell me that I should have children because trust me I'm happy and my life is perfect the way it is for now.
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