Monday, September 22, 2014

Don't Compare....EVER!....well at least try not to

Everyone's experience with a deployment is different, some are longer and some are shorter. Some husbands have jobs where they have more availability so they can spend more time on Facebook and sending emails, others (like mine) have to share 1 computer amongst 25 other sailors so they don't get much time or opportunity to talk. Each branch is different too, Skype isn't really available to sailors unless they are in port and they are on liberty, while I have a friend whose husband is in the Air Force and while he's on deployment he can call, text and Skype nearly every single day. But I can't compare because it will drive me crazy, I can't think about the people that have been in the Navy for 4+ years and are about to go on their very first deployment because things are going to be different.  And it's hard, even typing this I have to remind myself that everyones experience is different and there are always people that are going to have it easier but there's also going to be those people that have it worse. So comparing is useless, no two sailors have the same career. I have a few friends that will call me upset because something is unfair, or they know someone that things worked out for and they feel screwed over and I have to remind them that if they compare they are going to drive themselves crazy. It's hard, it really is but it's one of the most important things to remember during a deployment because things are always going to seem unfair. I had a couple friends try and tell me it was wrong that my husband had to leave again so soon but I didn't even want to go down that road. As much as I wish things were different everything happens for a reason and we are going to be fine and I just try to appreciate the good and take all the bad with a grain of salt. Him being deployed gives me the opportunity to spend more time with my littles, it gives me a chance to finish my associates degreee and I am grateful for that. So maybe it'd be nice if my husband had his own personal computer on the ship, or if the computers were evenly distributed so each sailor could adequately communicate with their loved ones, maybe I'd love it if my husband hadn't deployed twice in his first three years of sea duty. And it'd be nice to have the ability to Skype my husband every single day, but that's not an option and I'm not going to waste my time wishing things to change that won't. Take everything that a deployment throughs at you with a grain of salt and honestly if you have someone on your Facebook feed complaining about Underways and Duty days while your husband is on his second, third, or fourth deployment just delete them. Who cares, this is why I write about social media in the military because those people are inconsiderate and don't realize how easy they've had it and how their posts might make others who have had a harder time feel so if they get one less Facebook friend because of it that's they own fault.  

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