Hitting Rock Bottom

I love hitting rock bottom, hell yea man. Cry your eyes out until they're all red and puffy. Lay in your bed in the dark and think about all the things you miss about them and how your life just completely sucks because they are gone. I'm not being sarcastic. IF you need to get these feelings out do it, by all means get them all out at one time and in the most intense way. Then when you're done, when it's all out dry your eyes and pick yourself back up. The good thing about hitting the emotional low point in deployment is that now you get to go back up. It happens to everyone at least once. No one that truly loves their spouse doesn't find themselves crying at a wedding or getting teary eyed during a romantic movie. It's normal, don't bury your emotions all the time. That's just unhealthy. Deployment sucks, your SO might miss your birthday, anniversary, Christmas, New Years. That's upsetting, my husband hasn't been home for a Halloween in three years. That might not sound too bad to some people but that's my favorite holiday, right after my birthday. Lol but it sucks every Halloween I just know I can forget about throwing a party, forget about couples costumes, forget about handing out candy to little trick or treaters together because he's just not going to be there. It isn't his fault it's just reality. And it sucks so if I get down I don't pretend those feelings don't exist. I just get them out quickly and move on. I refuse to spend an entire deployment crying in my room wasting time I could be out having fun and enjoying myself. Would you want to know your sailor was miserable every single day. That the ship had a swim call and he laid in his rack depressed. That they stopped at a port in Rome and he didn't even leave the dock. Hell no, you'd want them to go out, experience the world, have fun and make the most of your time. They don't want to hear that you're miserably every day too. Everyone has a bad day but it's your decision whether or not to live in that misery or to pick yourself back up and make the most out of a crappy situation. No matter what they're coming home, so at the end of 5,6,9 months do you want nothing to show for that time but a giant stack of used tissues or would you rather have a scrapbook full of memories to share with them. I'm just saying I know my husband loves the scrapbook. I know this whole thing is hard, but don't let it defeat you. You've got this,

Any Day But Today,

Kayla